Experience, Standards, and Commitment in Dating Markets

Dating technologies have dramatically reduced search frictions in romantic markets, leading standard search and matching models to predict improved long-term matching outcomes. This paper challenges that prediction by introducing a novel mechanism through which increased relationship experience can undermine long-term commitment. We develop a dynamic model in which individuals evaluate partners relative to a personal, multidimensional reference frontier formed by past sexual relationships. Early experience is beneficial, as it reveals unobserved dimensions of compatibility and facilitates learning about preferences. However, as experience accumulates, expanding personal benchmarks raise standards and increase the likelihood that future partners fall short along salient dimensions. As a result, the model predicts a non-monotonic relationship between experience and long-term commitment: moderate experience facilitates commitment, while excessive experience leads to persistent search, relationship instability, and delayed exit from dating markets. The framework offers a new perspective on how improved short-run matching may weaken long-run relational stability.