Gay Men as Caregivers for Spouses with Dementia: Intersections of Gender and Sexual Orientation

ObjectivesDespite the importance of spousal caregiving, and the increase in same-sex marriages concomitant to its legalization in 2015, few studies have examined the experiences of same-sex spousal caregivers. We use an intersectional approach to explore how gender and sexual orientation shape gay men’s particular caregiving approaches for their spouses living with dementia.MethodsWe focused on a subsample of gay (N = 13) contrasted with straight husbands (N = 15) from a national study of spousal dementia caregivers. Data were obtained through in-depth interviews and analyzed thematically by a team.ResultsWe find that sexual minority status and gender interact to shape gay men’s caregiving approaches. Gay men’s broader division of labor in households combines with experiences of discrimination based on sexuality and HIV/AIDS, as well as being a part of a same-sex couple to influence their caregiving approaches in unique ways. Specifically, they combine a task-oriented approach with concern for the personhood of the care receiver; bring strength and empathy borne of struggle; and what they feel is a deeper understanding of the care receiver given their shared status as gay men.DiscussionOur findings indicate that gay men’s flexibility in divisions of labor results in variable sets of skills, resources, and identities they bring to and approach their caregiving. In addition, some of the many negative experiences borne of HIV/AIDS and discrimination are reframed as sources of strength and guide caregiving efforts. Together, these findings highlight the intersecting effects of gender and sexual orientation on spousal caregiving.