Two Taboos: The Money and Sex Model (MSM) in Romantic Relationships

Two meaningful elements of relational wellbeing are money and sex. The connections between these variables and relational outcomes seem to have several similarities. Behaviors and attitudes toward these variables appear to impact relationships in fundamental ways, and struggles with money or sex are often cited as common reasons for relational problems. Further, these factors have been found to impact each other in romantic relationships. However, no model exists that explains how sex and money may interact with each other and may be linked to relational outcomes through similar mechanisms. Although strong claims have been made about the potent roles of these variables in creating better relationships, it is less clear when and how these may occur and whether these two facets may operate in similar ways within relationships. We integrate the literatures on sex, money, and romantic relationship science to outline a model that examines both the intra- and interpersonal processes: The Money and Sex Model (MSM). This model may provide future research directions for possible pathways of when and how these variables may influence personal and relational functioning. We incorporate Buber’s I-Thou theory (Buber, 1970)–the ideological foundation for couples and family therapy–to describe the degree of cohesion versus tension between individual and couple considerations. We discuss how communication may influence and be influenced by the interactions between individual factors and couple factors. Finally, we propose associations between these processes and relational, sexual, and financial well-being.