“Nobody has written the book about what non-binary people should put forward in relationships”: Exploring gender equity in relationships of queer, trans, and non-monogamous young women and non-binary youth in British Columbia, Canada

Understanding the unique ways in which queer, trans, and non-monogamous young women and non-binary youth navigate and negotiate equitable intimate relationships is a first step toward strong research, programs/resources, and policies to support healthy relationship dynamics across the life course. Using a youth-engaged collaborative Reflexive Thematic Analysis, we aimed to explore how youth of diverse genders and relationship experiences understand gender equity in their relationships. Thirty cis- and transgender inclusive young women (46.7%) and non-binary youth (53.3%) aged 17–29 who were in a current (76.6%) or recent (in past 12 months, 23.4%) non-heterosexual and/or non-monogamous intimate relationship and residing in British Columbia, Canada, completed qualitative interviews between August and November 2022. Of the 30 youth, 53.3% reported having experience living as a trans person, 33.3% identified only as bisexual and 10% identified as only lesbian or gay, whereas the remaining 56.7% identified with ≥1 of: queer, pansexual, and demisexual. Participants identified that relationship equity requires: 1) Moving away from cis-heteronormative conceptualizations of gender roles and norms; 2) Actively working to dismantle hierarchal power structures by sharing power, responsibility, labour, and decision-making; and 3) Accommodating and affirming each person's unique needs and identities in a relationship. For theme one, youth further described the ways in which they re-imagined relationship norms and discussed the various challenges to resisting ingrained hierarchical cis-heteronormativity. This research contributes a greater understanding of how to create equitable and healthy relationships and has important implications for healthcare providers, educators, and policymakers working with queer, transgender, and non-monogamous youth.